changes

with the change of season from summer to autumn, i am once again changing my location in life. not quite far: a physical move exactly one mile from where i have been for the past two years. however, it is a big move, as i will once again be living with my love, and helping to demo/redo a cottage that has a lot of potential in a neighborhood that fits the same description. i've come a long way with this house, and i hope to help bring it a lot further.

job situation=the same. oh, there are lots of changes that occur within the workplace, as well as my feelings towards it, almost on a daily basis for both.

writing situation=the same. i wish to change it! i see how little i update my blog and it horrifies me: this was my one writing outlet when i lost the time and motivation to continue with my own short story and poetry writing. and now i will have even less time....

as i do write this, however, i am staring outside at a gorgeous fall day: a tree turning fiery red across the street in a right-now vacant lot; a vivid blue cloudless sky; a peeling white house. there will be inspiration on this street, in this house, with this boy.

i feel it.

Oscar Wilde Quote

"Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence.
To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow.
To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."
~Oscar Wilde

George Bernard Shaw Quote

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
~George Bernard Shaw

Oscar Wilde Quote

"The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame."
~Oscar Wilde

Martin Luther King Jr. Quote

"Cowardice asks the question, 'Is it safe?' Expediency asks the question, 'Is it politic?' Vanity asks the question, 'Is it popular?' But, conscience asks the question, 'Is it right?' And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but one must take it because one's conscience tells one that it is right."
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Edward Bulwer-Lytton Quote

"If you wish to be loved, show more of your faults than your virtues."
~Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Ogden Nash Quote

"The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly."
~Ogden Nash

Horace Quote

"He who postpones the hour of living is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out before he crosses."
~Horace

unemployment

first week plans:

• try not to freak out too much
• read
• write?
• try not to freak out too much
  
• prepare kitchen for stripping and painting {today}
• job search {every day for the past 3 years, actually}
• try not to freak out too much
• start stripping
• start refinishing
• try not to freak out too much
• start painting
• finish painting
• try not to freak out too much
• first day of the best Farmer's Market
• walks with mami along the lake
• try not to freak out too much
  

try not to freak out too much.

YAY FOR CHERIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm proud to post that my favorite ultra-marathoner and one of my best friends, Ms. Cherie, ran her personal best in the 113th Boston Marathon today: 3:28:31.

WHOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So proud of you, chica!!

Running!

I started running again! Wednesday, with Amanda, and I went on my second run this morning. I feel GREAT! This is something I have been wanting to start for a while, and am only thinking, why did I wait so long?

I first started running in high school: many years ago, and I'm at the age where even saying "in high school" makes me cringe so I'm not going to actually put how many years ago that was! (Some of you know *wink*) I did a couple of charity runs...where I ran/walked/ran/walked. JP had a track in his back yard that I used to run around. I would randomly run with the twins. Then I stopped running in college....would randomly run in the mountains when I lived in CO, which is much different than the type of running I'm doing in Buffalo!

It feels good though. I am a little amazed about how addicted I am already! I started a running journal and am already obsessively checking out new routes. Have set up my first running date with Joe for Sunday. Am sure I will have future running dates with Theo and Amanda. And Cherie!! I can't wait to be running in NYC in two weeks with you, girl! I'm on a Sun/Mon/Wed/Fri schedule right now, and am hoping to be at least at 3 miles by the time we head out Friday the 27th for our first run together. SO EXCITED!!

Homelessness

I've always had a soft spot for the homeless; perhaps being a part of a blue collar family makes you more aware that our connection to a home can be tenuous. It seems that during this economy that perhaps more people are understanding this more? I hope.

I remember starting to cry once in college when I was talking about someone I had just seen and the person I was talking to acting like I was insane for getting so "worked up." Another time W and I were on the Pearl Street Mall and we were so struck by this man's eyes, there was just something so sad and earnest and yearning in them that we emptied our pockets on the spot, and it was only a couple of bucks that we had, but he was so grateful....There was this man that would talk to me at the bus stop all the time on my way up to Ned, and we had the greatest conversations, and it would make me angry when random white people would come up and try to "distract" me so I wouldn't have to talk to him. I'd rather talk to him than you, was my response once to an overzealous college boy. Then I stopped seeing him one winter, and there was an obituary in the paper that fully described him and I knew it was him and I felt this extreme sadness. I will not ever forget him.

And it happens in B-Lo, too. When I worked at the museum I would talk to this man P all the time, he lives in the neighborhood and I still see him on occasion and we still chat, and I can't remember how many museum visitors would become uncomfortable and ask if I needed help. What? I walk around this city all the time, any time of day, and I can't even tell you how many homeless people I chat with on a regular basis and none of them ever ask me for anything except to be treated as a human being. And we're neighbors, so why would I ignore them? Just because they don't live in a house, like I am lucky enough to be able to? So when people I know, or don't know, ignore them it disturbs me.

Rebecca Solnit wrote about this in an essay, "Mirror in the Street." How she is so used to the homeless people in her neighborhood that it surprises her when people come to visit and get uncomfortable when they have to walk by them and when she talks to them. She raises an interesting point, however, in that while that is disturbing in and of itself, what's more disturbing is how she has grown used to seeing homeless people on a daily basis. THAT is what we should all be disturbed by: that we live in a world that is killing itself right now by its greed and gluttony and yet we have grown used to seeing human beings living on the street.

I was inspired to blather on about this by an opinion piece by Bridget Quinn-Carey, the Director of the Buffalo and Erie County Public Library system, titled "Regardless of address, the Central Library is open and trying to help the homeless." I had tears in my eyes while reading it, it's really quite eloquent and beautiful and talks about how the public library is open to everyone. Which is how it should be.

Anti-Gold Dust Woman

I've never been into gold, I've always been a silver woman--which of course is also mined and has it's own share of environmental problems, which is why lately on the rare occasions when I've wanted a new piece I will go to an antique store to find one. Anyway, I just read two essays this morning by Rebecca Solnit from her book Storming the Gates of Paradise which reinforced the fact that gold is not only ugly, but evil.

Gold's only purpose is for pleasure: since it's a soft metal, it can't do much else. Right now in Nevada, there's a second "gold rush" going on, but it's a quieter one than California's famed one of the 1800s but causing just as much destruction and devastation to the environment and the indigenous people that weren't killed and/or driven out of their lands the first time around.

Thousands, maybe millions, of acres of land are destroyed for thousands of years to produce just a little gold, leaving behind mercury which will never go away and cyanide, which will, but which is so toxic less than 2 ounces will kill an adult human. And cyanide has been showing up in peoples drinking water. Nice. Meaning that not only were 4/5 of California's indigenous population killed the first time around, but they are being killed now.

I'm not a religious person, but this all gives new meaning to the Christian commandment about golden idols....

Edward Abbey Quote

"Society is like a stew. If you don't keep it stirred up you get a lot of scum on the top."
~Edward Abbey

Domestic Violence

While scouring the news for work today (my first Daily News!! super exciting) I came across an article in The Guardian about an 11-week drama project at London's Hendon School which addresses issues of domestic violence. An astute participant noted:

"I kept coming out with stereotypes, like 'she's clever, so she'd know to leave her boyfriend'," agrees her classmate, 15-year-old Emma Densham. "But we learned that there is no stereotypical person who is abused - it can be absolutely anyone."

Abuse can happen to anyone, it can be happening to someone that you know right now. They may not even know they are victims of abuse, because in addition to there not being any stereotypical victims of abuse, there are no stereotypical types of abuse. Abuse can be physical, sexual, or it can be subtly manipulative, like the kind I suffered for nearly 5 years some time ago. Sometimes I still catch myself thinking, why didn't I realize? I was a women's study minor, I should have known!

But, sometimes you don't.

So the best thing to do is to raise awareness, like Hendon School is doing. Bravo to them.

Mark Twain Quote

"We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it -- and stop there -- lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more."
~Mark Twain

i want my The Secret Life of Salvador Dali back!!!!

"There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad."
~Salvador Dali

Marcel Proust Quote

"The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."
~Marcel Proust

ready!

now that school is over, the shortest day of the year is over, christmas is over, illness is over, last relationship is over, the worst year of my life is over....

....great new (temporary) job has started, a good friend's upcoming marriage & visit to a new state is approaching, freedom looms large and scary and wonderful and welcoming....

....i am MORE than ready for 2009!!

i wish someone felt this way about me

"She is the weeping welkin, I the earth:
Then must my sea be moved with her sighs;
Then must my earth with her continual tears
Become a deluge, overflow'd and drown'd;
Forwhy my bowels cannot hide her woes."
~William Shakespeare

Gandhi Quote

"Civilization is the encouragement of differences."
~Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1869-1948)

relationships & William James quote

"Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man [sic] as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is."
-William James

{post removed due to a big fat knife in the back.}

Ammon Hennacy Quote

"I wasn't disturbing the peace, I was disturbing the war."
~Ammon Hennacy

VOTE!

don't forget to vote tomorrow.

Wendell Berry Quote

"What I stand for is what I stand on."
~Wendell Berry

some thoughts about racism

last week the New York Times ran a special section about racism and this year's presidential election. truly, i am naive, as i knew that racism is far from over in this country [we have not come along so far as many people insist we have, not by a long shot] but i had no idea how much ignorance still to this day prevails. even in the northern states. people younger than i! it's really very sad, very scary. i was not brought up to see color or gender and am very thankful i have a smart mother! [i see dollar signs, instead, but that's off-topic!] i'd been hoping that racism would eventually die along with the older generation who think it is fine to say "that one" and point when they are debating their opponents.

again, how naive of me.

so, this is my small contribution to saying that racism is not ok, it needs to end, and that starts with you.

BBC NEWS | Americas | Colin Powell backs Barack Obama

[from the article:] "Colin Powell does not bring a state and he probably does not bring many additional supporters, our correspondent says.

But what he does do is solidify Barack Obama's appeal with the middle-of-the-road voters who are worried about whether or not he has sufficient experience for the job.

To hear these words from Colin Powell in a television interview this morning, will have been deeply reassuring to many American voters, our correspondent adds.

One interesting sideline to the Powell endorsement is that he gave as one reason for his choice Sarah Palin's presence on the Republican ticket, arguing she was not ready for the White House."

republican hypocrisy

watching the below psa, it struck me, not for the first time, how hypocritical republicans are. they want government to be less involved in peoples lives, right? or so they say, so that the richest people in this country can stay that way and the poorest ones can keep getting -- and yet when it comes to choice, they get hyper involved to the point of ignorance.

***the most important post of the year***

BBC NEWS | Science & Environment | African chimps decline 'alarming'

"Our closest living relative will not survive, and I ask myself about what this means for the future of humans if we let this species disappear."
~Professor Boesch, a director at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology, Germany

Zora Neale Hurston Quote

"The present was an egg laid by the past that had the future inside it's shell."
Zora Neale Hurston

peace

"peace. it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in you heart."
~author unknown

the word maverick has lost all meaning

8 minutes into the vice-presidential debate and i'm already yelling in an empty house about the idiocy i am watching. sarah palin has already spewed the word two too many times, and all those references to joe-six pack? sorry hon, my family has always been working class, and yr darn right none of us relate to you.

Lucius Annaeus Seneca quote

"One should count each day a separate life."
~Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I need to remember this, as I am having the worst day I've had in a while. I can't say of the year, that pretty much goes to the entire month of August, with April in a close second!

Still, I will try to remember....

What Could Make Someone Want to Leave New York and Move to Buffalo? -- New York Magazine

What Could Make Someone Want to Leave New York and Move to Buffalo? -- New York Magazine

I would really hate it if Buffalo became "the new Willamsburg." But honestly, after leaving for 11 years and coming back, I wonder how I ever left, because Buffalo is a rad place. I'm not looking forward to leaving again....and that's one of the things I disagree with in this article: the economy is not looking up, especially now with the new financial crises.

Some reasons I love Buffalo?



Not to mention that we're closer to the Finger Lakes than NYC.

Alan M. Eddison Quote

"Modern technology
Owes ecology
An apology."
~Alan M. Eddison

This is Your Nation on White Privilege (Updated) | Red Room

A lot of stuff in here I didn't realize: that Palin went to 6 colleges in 4 years, for instance. But I've had my thoughts about how messed up it is that she was going into labor with her 5th child and didn't go to a hospital for almost 24 hours and that most of the discussion centers on her dress and mannerisms while ignoring the fact that she didn't know Bush's stance on Iraq but declared that Russia was next. I'm not happy about this election, but it is going to be really scary if McCain wins.

Really. Scary.

This is Your Nation on White Privilege (Updated) | Red Room

Mark Twain Quote

"My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its officeholders."
~Mark Twain

Arctic ice melt not quite a record this summer

But close, as the runner up to the first. Then again, summer wasn't quite as hot this year, at least not in B-Lo.

Arctic ice melt not quite a record this summer

Rules Near for Animals’ Engineering - NYTimes.com

What is wrong with the FDA? Oh yeah, they're the government.

And if the cloned animals are so safe, then why are there gonna be strict regulations on them? I don't really want some wacked out animal running around loose but hey, we can trust the government, can't we?

(That's a joke.)

Rules Near for Animals’ Engineering - NYTimes.com

Perspective

Just thinking about how funny it is--how the quotes I pick as applicable to my life will change depending on what's going on it it. I'm sure this is the same for everyone. They all still applied at the time, and they're all still great quotes. I need to get working on some of my own....

Dr. Seuss Quote

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
~Dr. Seuss

Arnold Toynbee Quote

"A city that outdistances man's walking powers is a trap for man."
~Arnold Toynbee

BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | 'Extreme waves' worry Australia

BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | 'Extreme waves' worry Australia

John Wooden Quote

"You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you."
~John Wooden

NEWSgrist - where spin is art: Palin: Museum Slasher, Free Speech Foe

NEWSgrist - where spin is art: Palin: Museum Slasher, Free Speech Foe

How Does V's Garden Grow

Now that it's September, my container garden is looking really nice.

My tomatoes (cherries, romas, and celebrities) are getting nice and big (if not ripe, yet!) and so are my peppers (jalapenos and red and yellow bells).

I am a huge fan of coleus, and I was glad to discover that although they will die back in the winter, they will come back in the spring, yay! Thanks to a lady on the Garden Walk telling me that. I also discovered caladium this season, which is now my new favorite plant.

I was told by the man at the downtown market that it will survive as a houseplant; I hope it does, but if not, I hope it comes back like the coleus.

Basil is getting nice and huge so I hope to eat and also freeze a big batch of pest, and of course, once the weather starts cooling off, my lettuces will take off and we'll be having salads every day come October.

Ah, the joys of gardening....And all of this in containers; wait until I have an actual yard to dig up! I'll still frequent the Farmer's Market, but I'll also be able to grow a lot of my own food, finally....I'll keep dreaming; Buffalo's economy hasn't picked up yet!

Harry S. Truman Quote

"Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear."
~Harry S. Truman

V's Own Private House Episode (Or, How My Summer Ended on 9 August)

Part 1: Saturday, 9 August. V goes to Buffalo General. (Worst hospital in the world. Not even joking; if you're in B-Lo, let the Catholics take care of you, even if you're not one, because they are excellent. Especially Sisters.) She's had immense stabbing pains in her lower right back for a few days, which have migrated to her abdomen. After 13 hours, a CT scan, the worst doctors ever but the nicest ER nurse, she is sent home armed with the knowledge that she has a 4x9mm kidney stone and that it should pass in a few days.

Part 2: Tuesday/Wednesday, 12-13 August. V wakes up freezing. Later wakes up soaked in sweat. Then wakes up freezing. Talks to her landlady the nurse, who is making sure things are set for V to watch the dogs while she's in Italy and tells V to go to Sisters b/c she thinks she should have passed the stone and also thinks V has an infection. Sure enough, V does. There are no signs of the stone in the X-ray, and sure enough, the pain goes away later Wednesday night. V starts taking the evil Sulfameth antibiotics prescribed to her by the ER doctor to get rid of the infection, and is stewing because she remembers that the hurrying to get off her shift ER nurse from Buff Gen had told her she had an infection but was given nothing by anyone at Buff Gen for it. Grrrr. The ER doctor at Sisters also hooks V up with a urologist appointment for the next day.

Part 3: Thursday, 14 August. V goes to the worst urologist office ever. Doesn't even get to see a doctor, only a nurse, who makes jokes about everything, including the fact that he can get V into St. Joe's hospital the next day b/c the guy who was going to be there has been arrested, and isn't it funny that he'll be suffering in jail with a kidney stone? No, V in fact does not find that funny at all. The nurse doesn't tell her that she is going to be under anesthesia, so he also doesn't tell her not to drink anything after midnight. He also tells her to go to the wrong hospital, so if St. Joe's had never called, who knows what would have happened. So, all night, V is stressing out that she is going to feel the cystoscopy performed.

Part 4: Friday, 15 August. V is admitted to St. Joe's for her minor surgical procedure, and feels some of her outrage at the urologist's office released when the admitting nurse is also outraged that he didn't give V the proper information. Feels glad when the nurse calls the doctor's office in front of her, vindicated even. Undergoes the cystoscopy asleep and discovers that she is funny: when she wakes from anesthesia (V has gone under twice now) she tries to get up before she is completely awake. No stone was found, and the urologist "doesn't know" where it went. V is insistent that she hadn't passed it b/c she has been diligently straining her urine, and the doctor agrees that she probably couldn't even pass a 9mm stone, so he "thinks" it may have been a rarer, uric acid stone and V dissolved it by drinking massive quantities of water. V goes home and feels fine F, Saturday, and starts to feel a little off Sunday but not too bad.

Part 5: Monday, 18 August--Wednesday 20 August: V develops a high, very high fever and a massive headache and can barely crawl from her bed to the bathroom. On Tuesday V knows something is seriously wrong, as she has never felt this horrible before in her life; not after her car accident, not after her wisdom teeth, nothing. She spends all day Monday and Tuesday in bed. There are brief interludes of not quite as drastic pain, but it's still very bad. Nic and Mami are quite worried and bring her groceries, a thermometer, and their company. Nic takes care of the dogs constantly, quite lovely. V goes to bed Tuesday night with a 103.3 fever and the beginnings of an ugly rash and Mami plans to come over Wednesday morning before work. At that time, V is not moving again and has a 103.8 fever.

Part 6: Wednesday, 20 August. V is admitted to Sisters hospital again. Her temperature upon arrival? 105. She gets more XRays, another CT scan, and a lovely, oh so lovely, spinal tap. Apparently, the medication she is on for the infection causes meningitis in some people and this is what they suspect her to have. Luckily, she doesn't, but for 10 terrifying minutes on Wednesday morning, V thinks she is going to die. A team of doctors, residents, and med students, 7 in all, become V's entourage through her 60 hour stay at the hospital. V is pumped with 5 liters of saline a day, steroids, blood thinners, stomach settlers, Tylenol, and the fever goes away, the headaches go away, and the rash gets better to the point that V is released Friday afternoon.

Part 7: Saturday, 23 August. V is home. Taking steroids, which will help with the rash, eventually. She will be suffering a headache on and off from the Spinal Tap. It happens when she sits up straight and/or stands, and goes away shortly after lying down, but as V starts school on Monday, she really doesn't have time to just be like OK, I'm gonna lie down for a bit, don't mind me, while she's at work and school, she will be bringing her arsenal of pain pills with her. Hopefully, V will be OK now. The infection is gone, the stone is gone, and soon the headaches should pass. V thinks she will be exhausted for a bit, but that should also pass in time. As long as amoxicillian and the evil sulfameths stay away from her, that is....

Huge chunk snaps off storied Arctic ice shelf

globeandmail.com: Huge chunk snaps off storied Arctic ice shelf